Choosing a marriage therapist in Utah Valley has unique challenges. You may be wanting to find someone with the same values as you. Many people here have LDS beliefs, and those that are not LDS may also want to find someone that is able to relate to them. Here are a few tips to finding a good couples counselor that will fit with your needs.
1. Finding a Therapist
Finding a therapist is the first challenge. Websites like psychologytoday.com have lists of local therapists that you can choose from. Google is always a good option as well. There are also LDS specific sites that may meet your needs. Sometimes religious leaders, like a Bishop, or close friends may have someone they trust that you can turn to. It may take a little work, but this is one of the most important steps to finding a therapist you can trust.
2. Screening a Therapist
Once you have found a few therapists that you can contact, you will want to check for a good fit. I like to use the analogy that we don’t walk onto a car lot and pick the first car that we see. We ask questions about the car and give it a test run to make sure it fits us. Finding the right therapist is a similar process. You want to ask the right questions to see if they are competent and caring and to see if the relationship feels like a good fit.
3. Asking the Right Questions
There are two different types of questions that you may want to ask. First, you want to know their level of expertise in couples therapy. Couples therapy is one of the most difficult types of therapy. You want to know that they are experienced working with couples. You also want to know what theory they use to practice couples therapy. The most effective type of couples therapy is called Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT), which has up to a 75% success rate. We want the best theories helping us reach a good relationship. A couple questions you might ask are:
- How much experience have you had working with couples?
- What theory do you use when practicing couple’s therapy?
The second type of questions you want to ask relates to knowing if the therapist is a good fit for you. There are at least two ways to check how well they fit: the direct way and the indirect way. Directly, we can ask them questions about their beliefs and see if they match with ours. Be careful though. Sometimes different beliefs will help them to attack your problems in different ways. You may ask questions like:
- What are your beliefs about marriage?
- What are your religious beliefs?
You may want to share your main problem and see how the therapist responds. This gives you a chance to converse with them and see if the relationship feels comfortable. This also enhances your understanding of their expertise in your specific situation. After sharing your problem, you may ask questions like:
- What is your take on the experiences I just shared?
- How would you work on the problem I have?
Summing It Up
Choosing the right therapist can make all the difference in having a good experience with couples therapy. Utah has some unique cultural aspects that can affect that experience and you may have your own uniqueness as well. Prepare yourself before you contact a potential therapist. It may help to write down a list of questions you want to talk about. Overall make sure it feels like you click with the person. If you feel like the therapist is an expert and cares about you, there is a much better chance of having a good experience and improving your relationship.
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