Sexual addiction can devastate relationships. The spouse often feels like they are not enough for their partner, while the person with the addiction tries to assure them that the addiction has nothing to do with their spouse. The addiction slowly changes the person’s view of sex and the opposite gender slowly become objects. The spouse feels hurt and loses trust. Relational problems that existed apart from the addiction may exacerbate the problem.
Why would someone continue with a behavior that is causing so many negative consequences?
The addicted person often believes that their addiction is meeting some underlying need. They often have not explored these reasons in depth, but some of the reasons may be to avoid anxiety, sadness, or anger, escape problems, or look forward to something.
The problem with additions is that there end up being more costs that benefits. The person often ends up with more anxiety, increased shame, constant lying to cover up their actions, relationship conflicts, and only short moments of pleasure that increasingly becomes less pleasurable. Sexual addiction pulls us into a spiraling path downward.
To help them begin to break the cycle, I attempt to uncover the underlying needs that their addiction is covering up. Knowing their needs allows them to meet these needs in other ways and understand the triggers for their addiction. We then explore ways to overcome any emotional issues or other challenges that may be affecting their progress.
Addiction may also cause lack of trust in a relationship. If the couple desires, we work through any issues blocking their trust and begin to build trust again. Trust often takes time to rebuild and partners need to be patient as they show they are trustworthy and as their partner heals.
I have been able to help many people overcome their addiction to pornography and would love to work with you. I have an associates license for DOC (the Utah Department of Corrections to work with sex offenders) and NOJOS (the Utah Network on Juveniles Offending Sexually) giving me experience with many people that have had various types of sexual addictions. I hope that we are able to work together in your struggle to overcome sexual addiction.
